Well, it's been a while. I haven't stopped knitting, but I've been at a loss for what to say. Well, more accurately, I haven't wanted to put everything out there. The last time I wrote was the day before Nick shocked me and everyone who knows us by ending our relationship. I've been through a lot, and I won't put it all down here. Bottom line: I've moved back to the Bay Area. I live a couple of towns away from where I grew up. I have my own place, and I have my Ruby-dog with me. Of course, I quit my job in New Orleans, leaving me jobless here. I am searching for a new job, but the hardest part is that I don't know what I really want. I've been trying to get a nanny job, because there are people here who pay well enough for me to live on my own, and I'm not sure what else I can do. I've been doing temporary nanny jobs through an agency to make money, but I'm really not sure what comes next. It's been three months. I've experienced all kinds of emotions, and at this point, I'm exhausted at having so many things be so up in the air. Alas, through it all, there has been knitting.

The project I started in April, before all this, was my first lace pattern. I was inspired by Meg, who picked up knitting in February, and immediately churned out several complex, beautiful accessories. I had been knitting for six years, and had gotten as far as cabling. Meg started with lace patterns. She made a Noble Cowl that blew my mind. I was impressed, and felt jealous just looking at it. She said, "you can do that too! You just follow a pattern!" OK, so I did. My mom had asked me if I could knit a little black blanket for their cat, so it wouldn't show the fur so much. This cat likes to sit at the window on top of a blanket, and my mom felt she deserved her very own. So, I figured this was a good opportunity to try something complicated and different for me. I bought cheap, washable yarn since the final product would be, you know, for a cat. I chose the Baby Chalice Blanket. I had worked a couple of the pattern rows, and had to keep un-knitting (or tink-ing) rows at a time because I would realize that I messed up somewhere back a few rows. Knitting this little blanket was a comfort to me. I knitted on the plane to LA to stay with my best friend Erika, I knitted that first week while Erika and her husband were at work and I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I knitted when I got up to the Bay Area and still didn't know what the hell I was doing. I watched a lot of The Office on Netflix instant watch (OK, the first 5 seasons) while I knitted. The knitting has been complete for some time now, but I finally soaked it and spread it out to dry (yeah, that's about the closest I've gotten to blocking) last night. Here it is before (kinda scrunchy):

And then after (not the biggest transformation, but there's a difference):

And folded:
Clearly, I need to work on photography/lighting (might actually take a class in the fall), but you get the idea. Not too bad for my first stab at it.

Knitting this helped keep me sane (well, as sane as one can be in the situation), and I am grateful for that. I know that I am not the first to receive comfort from making row after row of little stitches, but I am glad that I have. This pattern was certainly difficult for me, but it also showed me that with some determination, I can figure it out and get through.

OK, maybe I've seen too many episodes of Doogie Howser, M.D. lately. I apologize. But really, it's true.

I promise, more color in the next post. Well, here's a little: Ruby's first trip to the Pacific coast.